For as long as I can remember, I have been curating my Desert Island Discs list. Since the age of ten, I have kept a mental list of the eight tracks that I would choose to save from the waves of a shipwreck, if were cast away with nothing but a wind-up gramophone and little hope of rescue. The call from the BBC has not yet come for me to broadcast my list to the world, but when I am deemed worthy enough, I already have done all the preparation. Since, I am often asked about my influences, I thought you might find it fun to peruse.
Everyone who is cast away comments on the difficulty of the selection process and anguishes over reducing so much love for so much music down to a mere eight tracks. I was just as conflicted, but I found a way to circumvent the problem. I have chosen the eight people most important to me and have picked a track that I find fabulous, yet will also always remind me of them.
- Insane Et Vane Curae, Haydn. My brother, Russell and I both sang in Southwell Minster choir professionally for 5 years solid as boy trebles. We have been close ever since. It was the greatest of formative experiences that we shall ever treasure. And this rip roaring anthem will always remind me of the amazing sound of choral singing in a cathedral and the pride of being part of an amazing English tradition.
- Seven Daffodils, traditional. My father has always had to bear the brunt of the family jokes that he is the tone deaf member of the family. This has always been slightly unfair, but he did live in a household with two choristers and an amateur opera singer. Additionally, he is amazing at almost everything else. We had to find some chink in his armour. His choice of music when he had full autonomy was entirely different from any other sounds I heard growing up. The cassette player in his car always gave out alien sounds, such as country and western, and folk. This tune with gorgeous harmonies, will immediately bring to mind racing through the Nottinghamshire countryside in a BMW next to my Dad.
- By The Sleepy Lagoon, Eric Coates. This is a bit of a cheat, as this is the theme to the Desert Island Discs broadcast. Quite the meta choice. However, the image of my mother creating a house for her family, usually being in the kitchen preparing food or getting busy with elbow grease and Brasso, was always accompanied by BBC Radio 4. Woman’s Hour, I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue, The News Quiz, PM, etc was the soundtrack in my house. Even though the music evokes a far away shore, it will always remind me of home.
- That Mitchell & Webb Sound - Scooby Doo. I believe Andrea, my wife, to be a musical genius. She can hear something once and be able to repeat it back with a precision that would rival the young Mozart. And yet, because music is so easy for her to access, it ceases to be a pleasure or a challenge. Therefore I have rarely known her to listen to music for pleasure. So, I wanted to choose a different sort of recording that she would appreciate. This comedy sketch has her in tears of laughter almost every time she hears it. Having it on the Desert Island with me will keep me closer to her than any 3 minute music track could ever do.
- The Taskmaster Theme Tune, The Horne Section. This is the one choice that might easily change next week. My son is growing up and therefore he is discovering new things all the time. The joy and headiness of parenthood makes you giddy. My son and I connect over many things, but the new series of Taskmaster airing at present is this week’s excitement. Away from my son, theme music also speaks very closely to my heart. If I had ever done a doctorate in music, my thesis would have been entitled, “TV theme music is the best sort of music ever!”
- The Floral Dance, Brighouse & Rastrick Brass Band. I didn’t know my maternal Grandfather that well, but he certainly left a big impression on my whole family. A larger than life character, pure working class stock, one of 17 children, professional gardener, amateur cake decorator with a million quotable lines and a force of personality that laid the foundation for the better life that his descendants inherited. He bought me this 7 inch record as my first ever record. I’m lucky to have never lived a life of hardship like he endured, but this reminds me of what I might be had it not been for hard work and a huge spark of personality.
- Blessed Pair Of Sirens, Parry. I’m stretching my own definition a little here, but this track is dedicated to all the influential heroes in my life. People I admire enormously, such as Stephen Fry, Derren Brown, Stephen Sondheim, Christopher Nolan and others are condensed into this one track. Recalling a specific moment from my teenage years, where the Eton Choral director, Ralph Allwood, created a moment of pure magic in a scratch performance of this epic work, will always invigorate me. Also, this piece of music is, as my mother would say, a bloody good sing.
- No-one Is Alone, Stephen Sondheim. I am allowed to have a track for myself. Musical theatre has been a constant part of my life. And this is the best moment from the best show. A pure distillation of humanity. I have only one request for my funeral. Others can choose the venue, the means of resting place, the colours, the format, etc etc. But please play this. Even better, get a quartet to sing it live.
Castaways on radio 4 get the complete works of Shakespeare and the bible. They also get to choose a book and a luxury.
Bookwise, I have to take The Meaning Of Liff, by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd. Because I couldn’t survive on a desert island without comedy. And although it’s not a big book, it is full of the comic messiness of life’s minutiae. It always makes me roar with laughter.
And for my luxury, I will take a set of half dollar coins. I have spent numerous hours of practice with a deck of cards creating some really fun sleight of hand routines. I have always ached to be just as adept with coins, but never quite managed to master them. Whilst I am waiting to be rescued, I could wile away the long lonely evenings on a beach devising some miraculous coin effects. And dream of mesmerising the audiences that I will miss so much during my banishment.